So, why the name “I Am Team Shannon”… Well, as some of you may remember, I was married for six years (together for eight years). When I was married, I was all about “Team (FormerLastName)” and making everything work for the good of the team.
It turns out that I was the only one who thought of us as a Team. My former teammate was only looking out for himself and what HE wanted. I don’t want to get in to what happened too deeply, because I don’t want any backlash from anyone who could possibly read this. But, I knew that something wasn’t right the year that we married. Being the person that I am, I thought that this phase would pass and everything would return back to normal. What I didn’t know is that it would only get worse.
You see, he had this one “friend” that he texted every night after I went to bed (I used to work an early shift). He texted this friend for a YEAR before I found out it was going on. He even texted this person on our wedding night. Him and his friend both tried to convince me that nothing was going on and since this person was 10 years older than both of us, I thought there was no way anything could be going on. I mean, this person is 10 years older and has a teenager! Why would anything be going on with them?! Ha, ha, oh naive Shannon.
There were other things going on besides this, that made me question things, but again, they assured me that they were just really good friends. Then, he started acting really weird and just so out of character. He blamed work stress. We had some really rocky moments because of this “friend” and then the added “work stress.” One such moment, he told me that okay, yes the friend did in fact tell him that she loved him, but he told her that he didn’t feel the same way and that they were just friends. Right. I should’ve left then. I asked him to please find another job. This job caused so much stress and then there was this friend…. He eventually left that job and we moved. I thought, okay, we’re good now. No.
This went on for years – 5 years to be exact. Then, one night I went to wake him up out of his slumber and picked up his phone to see a naked photo and the words “Goodnight, baby. I love you!” Oh, but not to be alarmed… He assured me that she had sent that to him by mistake and that it was really meant for her boyfriend. Nevermind the fact that they weren’t supposed to be texting anymore at this point (he had promised that they stopped). He then grabbed the phone from me and locked himself in the spare bedroom. Good times, my friends! Meanwhile, stupid me stayed for another year…
I eventually woke up and just decided that I didn’t want to live this way. I didn’t want to live with the anxiety of wondering what was going to happen next and if he was really cheating on me. I just couldn’t believe that he would cheat on me and of course, they both made me feel like I was crazy for even thinking this. Really, I was crazy for staying for as long as I did. So, when I finally left, he told me to just tell everyone that we had “grown apart.” Of course my family knew the truth…but his family still thinks we just grew apart. I can’t believe I let him get away with that. I can’t believe that I let him walk all over me in the divorce papers, taking things that were mine. There are just so many things that I can’t believe.
But guess what folks, a year after our divorce was final – him and his friend married.
So, I’m now Team Shannon. Team Shannon trusts her gut, puts herself first or at least not last, and has found someone who treats her the best she has ever been treated. I’ve discovered a lot about myself and I know what I want from life now. I also know that I won’t stand around and let someone treat me like crap. I have a lot of emotional scars caused by my exhusband and his new wife. I’m working through a lot of that still and I’m thankful that I have someone by my side who understands that I need time and that I have some trust issues still.
Whew! That was a lot! But, now I hope you understand why the name of the blog and why I’ve decided to just start a fresh blog instead of writing in the old one. 🙂